Book Club: I’m Still Here by Austin Channing Brown

Full Title: “I’m Still Here – Black Dignity in a World Made for Whiteness”

Author: Austin Channing Brown

Page Length: 185 pages

Why I Chose It

So what drew me to this book was “Black Dignity in a World Made For Whiteness.” Up until now, I had never thought of it that way. And by “it” I mean my existence as a black woman in America. And that’s likely because I never had time to think of *it* at all. I was too busy being *on!* and *happy!* and *carefree!* and *perfectly presentable from head to toe!* etc.

Though this book is relatively short, it is jam packed and I took TONS of notes. While you could read it quickly, I don’t recommend that. I actually recommend taking some time after each chapter to digest what you just read and take some notes. The feelings/emotions that emerged as a result of me taking time to digest and take notes were…a little spicy and uncomfortable but that’s exactly where we all need to be right now.

Bonus: Austin created a discussion guide linked here.

Quick Summary:

Fantastic, multifaceted, non-fiction account of what it’s like to be black (and proud) in America.  Non-fiction is *KEY* here as the author uses actual events to drive her point home; not made up fiction events that can be questioned.

Various Notes/Things I Loved

I loved:

• How she puts words to feelings/emotions I’ve never talked about. 
• Touches on such a wide range of topics including white fragility and being hyper aware of your physical appearance/emotions.
• In a world where white feelings take center stage, she talked about black feelings and the emotional labor we are subjected to. 
• Despite talking about all the nitty gritty things that make it difficult to simply *exist*, she mentions why it’s important to keep showing up. 
• Talks about what its like to create your own standard of beauty in the face of a world where:
  • The “ideal woman” is blonde haired, blue eyed, size zero
  • Black women’s features are mocked UNTIL a white woman makes them “fashionable” and profits off of it
  • In 2020, some makeup companies STILL CHOOSE to exclude women of color
  • American media compares (the absolute GODDESS) Serena Williams to an animal
  • British media bullied Meghan Markle out of the Royal Family

Various Notes

• The concept of feeling the distance between history and myself/the present collapsing.  PERFECT description.  I feel this very deeply.  Every time I see a confederate flag, distance between history and myself collapses.  Passing by plantations, history collapses. When a grown white man is confrontational with me, history collapses. Makeup brands who again, in 2020, still CHOOSE to only offer 4 shades of beige – history collapses.
• Micro-aggressions.  TONS of notes and emotions emerged here because it’s just so damn rampant and I had been excusing them for so long.
• Racism is not just the KKK/confederate flag.  It’s evolved into a poison that kills you slowly – death by 1,000 paper cuts micro-aggressions.
• LOVING YOURSELF AS A BLACK WOMAN.   
• The myth of “LOVE” as a means to see us through this movement. As if it is that simple to skip all biases and simply arrive at love when we never reckoned with our past in the first place.
• Reminds us of the fight our ancestors endured in a world where white people want us to “get over it.” 
• Encourages us to be grateful for our ancestors DARING to demand more.

Above all, this book reaffirmed for me to NEVER forget and ALWAYS show up.

We owe it to our ancestors.